Stuff

A few things:
Yesterday I attended a Birthsmart event called story circle (or something like that), where women get together and tell their birth stories. I left feeling a little inspired and a little scared. It seems like so many women come away from their labors being so disappointed and feeling defeated or cheated. There are so many modern interventions that are unnecessary, and women just often don't have the support system they need to have around them when they are in such a vulnerable state. I am so determined not to let this happen. I think it's so funny that I have had people say to me and Janae (about me) "Don't get set on (let her get set) on things going a very certain way. Things never go as planned, and I'm worried about you (her) because you're (she's) such a planner." People are genuinely worried that I'm putting so much thought into this and have such a specific plan. But I think it's so funny, and I feel misunderstood, because I feel like me, of all people, has a VERY open mind about my birth. If there's ANYTHING I've learned from educating myself so much this last year, it's that you really can't ever predict how things will go. There are SO many factors that can affect your labor (from weather, to timing, to personalities, to mental state, to health at the time, to other factors out of your control). The reason why I'm not worried about my plan being foiled, is that I have NO expectations about how this will go. I'm going into it COMPLETELY open and ready for WHATEVER may come up. The thing is, I really just trust God. I trust that He knows exactly how it's supposed to go, what I'm supposed to experience and learn, and He will make it just how it's supposed to be. SO, I'm open. Yes, I've planned as best as I can. I feel good that I did that, because I know, and the great support system I have around me (Ruth-Ann, Kim, George, Janae, mom) knows, what I'd love to have happen in an ideal situation, and what my desires are. They know the things that are most important to me, and the things I can bend on. So, God, I give this birth to you. Let happen with it what you will. I've done my part - my planning and educating myself - now it's in YOUR hands, and I completely trust you! Amen.