My Primary Goal

I am realizing that my primary goal in life right now us to get my son to sleep! So much of my day is devotes to rocking or 'staring' him to sleep (this technique I've found that works is getting real close to his face when he's swinging)!


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Breastfeeding

There's something so wonderful about breastfeeding. As a mom, you just feel like you are giving them a little piece of you - literally. It makes me feel so special to sacrifice and nourish my son in this way. It truly is bonding. I love to watch him while he does, looking as though thinking "thank you so much mommy. I was hungry and you brought me food. I was uncomfortable and you eased my discomfort. I love you."

On a different note, that's why you feel like a little bit of a failure when your milk isn't strong. Breastfeeding has overall gone fairly well, but it's had its ups and downs. In the beginning it came in quickly and strong, and my right side was flowing heavy. Then to now, my left side is definitely stronger, due to the fact that he prefers that side. He is inconsistent in his eating patterns, and has never been a big eater, so I think my milk production gets a little confused. My milk supply seems to be inconsistent. He wasn't gaining enough weight in the first three weeks of his life, and that was pretty frustrating and disheartening. We had to go back to the pediatrician 3 times for her to 'pass' him. And at this last appt (2 1/2 months) his weight was still only in the 5th percentile the first time we weighed him (then I fed him and we re-weighed him and he was just over 10lbs so she was ok with that). I so look forward to when I can feed him solid food, and it's been so tempting to supplement with formula until then. But I'll keep trucking along and doing the best I can!

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Conscience

Something that I had to fight in the beginning (the first few weeks after he was born) was thinking that he had a conscience and could be manipulative - like thinking he was crying just to upset me, or timing fussiness to right when I sat down to eat, or resisting naps when I really needed to lay down myself etc etc. I really had to tell myself over and over that he doesn't have any control over that and he wasn't 'out to get me'! Once I really comprehended that, it helped me be a better mom. It is hard not to think that in the beginning though.!


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New Developments

Georgie has started to grab things a lot more this week. He grabs my shirt while he's eating, and he grabs Janae's hair all the time. And what a grip! He also has been knawing (sp?) on his hands like crazy, producing LOTS of saliva and drooling like crazy! From what I understand this is normal behavior for his age. It's so cute but very messy when there's drool everywhere!

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