Just a Few...

I just wanted to take a few minutes. So I told one of my friends tonight (not a real close friend, but a friend) that we were expecting. She is one that I thought would be pretty excited, and she was...SORDOF. After I told her I felt a little insensitive. I remember her sordof implying in the past that the reason her and her husband didn't have kids (they're a few years older than G and I) was because they couldn't. I just remember taking that out of the conversation, though I don't know exactly what she said. I didn't delve any further, as I didn't want to be rude and bring up a sensitive subject. She was happy for me, but I saw a sadness in her. It made me VERY SAD. And I was talking to another girl tonight who had miscarried last winter, and who would've been due right around now. I felt kindof bad telling her about our pregnancy experience so far (first try, normal, healthy (as far as I know), as planned, and no morning sickness). It just hit me, talking to two women tonight who have experienced fertility issues to some degree, that I am truly lucky. In fact, I actually feel like I've won the lotto! This sounds silly, but with all the reading and research I've done lately, healthy pregnancies don't just come a dime a dozen. I also just heard recently of another friend and his wife who have been trying, in vain, for 5 years. They actually did just get pregnant, but then lost the baby after 9 weeks. I am DEVASTATED for them. It truly makes me SO SAD to think of those who face this issue, as having children is one of life's most rewarding experiences. I feel humbled and almost guilty to a degree. I am going to try to be more sensitive to those around me who may have struggled with fertility (I have another friend too). The thought of my news, and my joy, bringing them sadness, anger, resentment, and hopelessness makes me want to cry. I am so sorry if I've ever hurt anyone, or caused anyone pain. I'm not lucky in every aspect of life for sure, but this is one the Lord has SO BLESSED us. I just want to say 'thank you God. I don't for a second take this for granted. I know I'm so blessed, and I wish there was a way I could help others that aren't as 'lucky' in this department of life. Thank you, even for 8 1/2 weeks of getting to have our baby inside me. I love her/him SO MUCH already, and I will do my absolute best to raise this blessing knowing and thanking you. Amen.'